I'm a bit overwhelmed and perplexed today. I'm certainly no "Polly-Anna". I see the pain and uncertainty of the future lurking behind eyes. I read it in other blogs, I hear it on the radio. It could be any number of worries that plagues us, I could name several or try to guess yours. The following is just my humble opinion. I'm preaching to myself, ok? It's just out loud, I guess.
Here's the LOOK DOWN part-For just a moment, I turn off the noises around and face the worry (or multiples). Write down the big one, the one that may have kept me up or infiltrated my head today at work. Name it. It probably fits into a more general topic like work, health, family, friends, finance, spirituality, or yes, even worry about worrying. Look at it. Is it something I can control or fix? Many times the answer is no, which begs the question of why am I worrying about it in the first place. A whopping 85% of the things people worry about never happen.
Write "I can not fix this alone" across the paper. There, I said it. It can no longer control me. I tuck my piece of paper in my journal. My fingers bumped into another piece of paper, which I read and now laugh about. Why was I worried about THAT, I wonder.
I'm no doctor, but my best advice to myself is to now go do something for someone else. We are an amazing community of human beings. Here's the LOOK UP part. Call a friend, bake a cake, plant a seed, donate something, help somebody. My friend's mom grew up in the depression and said that although they had little, they knew they had each other. Who is your community? Seek it out, offer a hug and some hope. Ask for a hug and some hope.
Some of you just said, "What about the other 15%?" I heard that. I've never worried a problem away. Here's where I'm going to need a little faith. Just when I think I'm running on empty in the faith department, someone has called me, made coffee, or sent an email. I am never truly alone. We are each other's Spring.
(Photo-a double rainbow-May 2007 in CT)
Ahhh, lovely sentiment, functional advice.
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of writing it down and then tucking it away. Also very much agree with the GO DO SOMETHING technique. Being of service to others always helps.
ReplyDeleteHere's another technique I use. I tell myself that I can worry my ass off for ten minutes, but then I have to stop, go do something else. So I worry myself to death for ten minutes. It always gets ridiculous when I take it that far, which also helps get me out of the spiral.
All of us, every one of us, is so much more powerful than we allow ourselves to understand. Smetimes it helps to remember that.
Or when nothing else works, it's nice to cut yourself some slack, just be compassionate.
Thanks for this!
Love it! What a wonderful way to deal with what is nagging at us. I'm going to use your ideas!
ReplyDeleteAfter having a particularly fretful evening, I was forced to look at it, and realize that under all of it was fear. Fear of not succeeding, fear of feeling like a failure, fear of not being able to move forward because I failed (etc. etc.). I believe that under all worry is fear about something that 'might' happen. Just looking at it and realizing what the real concern is, shrinks it somehow for me, or lets me re-evaluate. What if I fail at this thing? Will it really spell total ruin for me? Can I try again? Can I get help? Can I change paths and still reach my goal?
I so appreciate that you reminded us all of our community connections. Even when we are suffering, we can always reach out and help others. Moving that focus from our own misfortune to how we can be of assistance is empowering, and helps spread much needed hope. I just read in our local newspaper that one bright side of this recession and all the job loss is that volunteerism is up. People need and want a focus for their lives, and focusing on others is a win win. You get to realize that you do still have blessings and abilities and you are able to share that with others who are hurting.
Ha, ha, Reya, worry about it 10 minutes-I can see you fuming in the kitchen, stomping about. Oh crud you think, I have 2 minutes left. Stomp, stomp.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, ladyiris, where fear meets faith. It's what comes out of the intersection! Love that!