I think teaching your own children piano is hard on everyone. There are books that have been written and myriad discussions among the teachers about whether or not to even try. Of course, many success stories abound, but I am not considering today one of them.
It's not really his fault, you know. I teach all the time so the piano is unavailable, I don't sit beside him when he practices as many good parents do, I reschedule his lesson far too often. I will let him someday blog about his excuses for not practicing often or well, or with intent. His karate instructor repeats the phrase "You perform what you practice" ad nausium, but it's different here.
So, perhaps it's time to allow him to become what he was made to be. He'll do pretty well at the Festival. I know his potential to be fantastic and that's where the rub is. I care more about it than he does. Teachers and parents hope their child to be, I don't know, better than they are/were. More ________ (fill in the blank). It's when their love is not your love that I have to stop and listen harder.
I believe there is a lesson in this for both of us. Today I will take with it the reminder that my dreams are not my children's dreams. And there's no excuse for my pushing so hard. I'm sorry, little buddy, tell me what lights your imagination? and "I don't know" is ok for today.
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